What Are the Most Common Estate Planning Mistakes in Second Marriages?
Second marriages bring new beginnings — and new legal risks. When one or both spouses have children from prior relationships, estate planning specifically for second marriages becomes more complex than many couples expect, especially when one or both spouses have children from a previous marriage.
In Virginia, these mistakes can leave a surviving spouse financially vulnerable, children unintentionally disinherited or families locked in conflict. Understanding the most common missteps is the first step toward avoiding them.
The most common mistakes when it comes to second marriage estate planning
What follows is a rundown of some of the biggest mistakes Trustice Law Group works to help its clients avoid when creating an estate plan for their blended family.
Relying on trust instead of structure
One of the most frequent mistakes in estate planning for blended families is relying on trust alone.
Many spouses assume their partner will “do the right thing” for their children after they are gone. While that belief may be sincere, it has no legal force. Once assets pass outright to a surviving spouse, they belong to that person, who may then use, spend, or dispose of the assets as they see fit.
If circumstances change — remarriage, illness, financial pressure, or influence from others — children from a prior marriage may receive far less than intended, or nothing at all. A sound estate plan relies on clear, written legal instruction, not assumptions or verbal assurances.
What is fair vs. what is equitable
Another common error is attempting to divide everything evenly between a spouse and children in the name of fairness.
In second marriages, fairness is rarely about equal percentages. A surviving spouse may need immediate income or housing security, while children may expect inheritance later. Splitting assets outright can unintentionally disadvantage both groups of beneficiaries.
Effective estate planning for blended families may require trusts, staged distributions, and/or other methods to hold and distribute assets to meet each family’s unique needs, and to prevent unintended results.
Mishandling the family home
The marital home is often the most emotionally charged asset in second marriages — and one of the easiest to mishandle.
Common mistakes include:
- Leaving the home outright to a surviving spouse with no protections for children
- Leaving the home to children while offering no housing security to the spouse
- Failing to plan for downsizing, long-term care, or sale
In Virginia, housing rights and ownership do not have to be the same. Estate planning tools such as trusts can protect a spouse’s ability to remain in the home, while preserving long-term inheritance goals for children and avoiding probate.
Forgetting beneficiary designations
Many people update their wills after remarriage but overlook their beneficiary designations on certain assets such as retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank accounts.
This oversight is costly. In Virginia, beneficiary designations will override intended distributions set forth in your will. An outdated form naming a former spouse — or failing to include children — can undo an otherwise thoughtful estate plan.
Updating beneficiary designations is an essential part of the estate planning process, especially upon divorce and/or remarriage.
Ignoring adult children’s legitimate concerns
Adult children from prior relationships often worry about losing their inheritance after a parent remarries. Those concerns do not make them adversarial — they make them realistic.
When estate plans leave discretion entirely in the hands of a surviving spouse, children may feel excluded or threatened. That tension often surfaces after death, when communication is hardest and emotions run highest.
A well-drafted plan anticipates these concerns and removes decision-making from moments of grief. Clear instructions protect family relationships as much as financial interests.
Failing to revisit the plan over time
Over time, health and caregiving needs change or arise, assets are acquired, disposed of and/or change in value, and family dynamics may shift.
An estate plan that works for you at 55 may not be a good fit at 75. Even so, many people never revisit their estate planning documents unless a crisis occurs.
Regular reviews and updates ensure that your estate plan remains aligned with your current needs and goals.
The bottom line: A second marriage is not a first, especially when it comes to your estate
The most common estate planning mistakes in second marriages are not driven by bad intentions. They stem from oversimplification.
Second marriages actually require more legal clarity, precision and foresight. With the right structure in place, it is possible to protect a surviving spouse, honor children from prior relationships and reduce the risk of family conflict — all at the same time.
To get started with your estate planning, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get your questions answered based on your unique situation. Click to request a time today or call us at 804-593-0788.
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